Job: Judging Other’s Situations

When something horrible happens in life, we tend to assume that person had done something bad in the past and is reaping the consequences. It’s easy to judge someone’s predicament. Through Eliphaz’s misjudgment, we will discover thing’s may not always be what they appear to be.

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Thank you! Nothing like a good hymn, amen? Oh, so good, so good. Let’s pray. Father in heaven, thank you Lord for the opportunity to come together once again, Lord, we are starting week three in our small group series on the book of Job. Be with us now as we continue to journey in Jesus’ name, amen.

Garret Kaiser was asked by his minister many, many years ago to go and visit an older member of the church named Pete who was living in a nursing home. And Garrett found out that Pete loved bananas. So he went to the local grocery store to go get some Chiquita bananas. And as he was standing in line, he realized there were a few people, but in particular, there was one individual. It looked like this individual had three checkbooks in her hands. I can tell how old this story is just by the word ‘checkbook’. Kids, do you even know what a checkbook is? And this individual bought, paid for whatever they were doing. Not once, not twice, but three times. And Garrett got a little indignant because of this. No doubt this individual was preventing him from doing the Lord’s business. He was there to go and get some bananas so he could visit an older man, an elderly man named Pete who needed the bananas and also was looking forward to his company. And here was this individual buying an armful of trivial odds and ends, as he put it, and taking his precious time to mess around with no ability to organize this individual’s finances. Eventually, when he finally, finally got through the line, he goes outside and he watched the Walk to a van. And lo and behold, as he saw the van, it was a van with the name of the local nursing home, filled to capacity with individuals who were older and who had no doubt handed their checkbooks so that she would be able to purchase their own goods. And at that point, Garrett, his smugness, his lack of empathy turned to grief and to guilt.

Today we’re going to continue our story in the book of Job. And today we’re going to look at several passages. The passages that I’ve highlighted here are just the points that we will hopefully be able to get through. There is so much more. I encourage you, if you have not had a chance yet to read these passages yet, go back and don’t just read these specific passages, but read the whole chapters as well to get a better understanding. But today I want to go and start with chapter four verses one through nine. So let’s go to Job chapter four, verses one through nine. And we hear finally Job, as we learned in chapter one and two, was a very wealthy man. He was considered a man of uprightness. He was integrity. He had integrity. He was very wealthy. He was beloved. And in a matter of moments, everything was basically taken away from him. And also, the second time around, he received boils, and he was feeling horrible. Last week we talked about Job’s response and now finally after over a week Job’s friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar finally get to speak. Today we’re going to focus on Eliphaz. And if you notice as you read the whole book of Job you’ll realize there are three rounds of discussion. And this is the first round. Okay.

So verse one in chapter four starting at verse one says, then Eliphaz the Temanite, and by the way the Temanite meaning he came from the town of Teman, which was a city in Edom, which was known for wisdom. Okay, keep this in the background, okay? He’s a Temenai, he’s allegedly full of wisdom. If someone ventured a word with you, will you be impatient? But who can keep from speaking? Think how you have instructed many, how you have strengthened feeble hands, your words have supported those who stumbled, and you have strengthened faltering knees, giving them compliments. You’ve done good, you’re humility, you’ve helped others, but now what happens? Trouble comes to you. And you’re discouraged, it strikes you and you’re dismayed. Should not your piety, your humility, be your confidence and your blameless ways your hope? Consider now who being innocent has ever perished. Where were the upright ever destroyed? As I have observed those who plow evil and those who sow trouble, reap it. At the breath of God, they perish. At the blast of his anger, they are no more.”

And so it’s interesting how Eliphaz, and by the way, some say that Eliphaz was probably the older of his three friends who takes a more, I don’t want to call it indirect approach, but he’s the most gentle of the three. That’s what they’re about to inform of. Basically, how he’s doing life wrong, how he’s messed up, and how he’s sinned and he needs to take accountability. Okay? But he starts off with, you were a good man, you helped others. Should you not lean back on your piety, your humility? And then he starts to slowly but surely allude to the fact of those who mess up, they should really take accountability of their actions, and he’s not being direct yet. And…

The common narrative that I think many people, and maybe we ourselves, catch ourselves at times is believers, common narrative believers have is bad things happen to someone because of sin. Okay? Bad things happen to someone because of sin. In fact, you even look at the book of John in chapter 9. Jesus and the disciples are traveling and the disciples ask the question of who sinned, this individual who was blind or the parents. At the time, that’s what they thought. How often do we ask this question of ourselves when trouble comes and did I deserve this? Now I’m not saying that we don’t reap the consequences of some of our choices, especially if they’re poor choices. If we make unhealthy lifestyle choices in our life and we decide to get better, Are all of those unhealthy lifestyle choices, the debt that we’ve accumulated from those unhealthy choices, does it just go away?

Here’s another thing. I know I’ve shared this story before, but I was listening to a podcast and there was a young man, he’s probably I think in his mid 30s now, and he grew up in a very troubled background. I think he grew up in either Santa Ana or Anaheim in a gang lifestyle, strong gang member, joins the army, does very well in his career. gets out, decides to become a nutritionist and go back home to help those he had grown up with. Okay, very noble endeavor. Meanwhile, he’s not a believer, he’s not a Christian. But his mom, who he had a very contentious relationship and maybe I would even say sometimes still does. And his dad growing up, he was abused physically, especially by his father. And his mother didn’t do anything about it. And his mother along the way realizes, I need to change my life and becomes a Christian, becomes a believer. And yet when he’s talking to her, she says something, he gets angry. You say you’re a Christian. You say you believe in forgiveness. You say you’ve changed, but you really haven’t. What good is your faith if there is no change? And what her response was, I don’t need anything else. I just need God’s forgiveness and that’s it. Mmm. But the truth is just because when we become converted, is that the only thing, is that the last thing? Guess what? Conversion isn’t just one time, it’s a lifetime of the Holy Spirit molding, enabling, and helping you to grow. And sometimes that means being accountable for our past decisions. If we’ve made some past decisions, sometimes we may have to go back and say, I am sorry for what I did. Just because you’ve received grace doesn’t mean you necessarily received grace from your family and friends around you. And that impact around you is not just between God, but that impact that Christ has in your life needs to be extended. And sometimes we either need to extend forgiveness or we need to seek forgiveness.

Now, Job is going to get an onslaught of advice from Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar. And sometimes I think we think, or some people, not us, but sometimes I think people think that God is just this puppet master waiting for horrible things and utter destruction to come on God’s people. Yet what is God’s chief characteristic? That of love, like a parent. And as all of you who are especially who are parents, you know that ultimately, what do you want the best for your kids? You want to love them and make sure that they have the best life. And God loves God’s children.

Now, let’s continue on. Let’s jump to chapter 5, verses:17 to 27. Chapter 5:17 to 27. And it says, blessed is the one whom God corrects. So don’t despise the discipline of the Almighty, for he wounds, but he also binds up. He injures, but his hands also heal. From six calamities, he will rescue you in seven. No harm will touch you. In famine, he will deliver you from death, and in battle from the stroke of the sword. You will be protected from the lash of the tongue and need not fear when destruction comes. You will laugh at destruction and famine and not fear the wild animals. For you have covenant with the stones of the field, and the wild animals will be at peace with you. You will know that your tent is secure. You will take stock of your property and find nothing missing. You will know that your children will be many, and your descendants like the grass of the earth. But you will come to the grave in full vigor, like sheaves gathered in season. We have examined this, and it is true, so it is here, and apply it to yourself.

Oh, those are some potent words. They’re kind of a few hits that are a little bit unwarranted. For instance. In verse 24 and 25, you will know that your tent is secure, you will take stock of your property and find nothing missing, you will know that your children will be many, and your descendants like the grass of the earth. What’s the problem with this particular verse? Where are Job’s kids? They’re gone. That’s a rude thing to say. And not only that, especially at the end, he says, we have examined this and this is true. So hear it and apply it to yourself. What is Eliphaz essentially saying? You know, we got together and we examined your situation and we basically think that you’ve done something wrong. So you need to get right with God. But has Job done anything wrong to warrant all of this tragedy in his life? No, okay. And so. Eliphaz is taking the direct approach. He’s basically saying Eliphaz is encouraging Job to take ownership of his misperceived sin. All Job had to do is repent. But again, Job, you feel like, what did I do wrong? When someone accuses you of something that you allegedly did, but didn’t take the time to even ask, well, can I hear your side of the story? How does that make you feel? Makes you angry. Makes you frustrated. You’re just assuming that you know everything. Has your boss ever called you up and expanded to know something that you have no idea what this individual is talking about? Have you ever been done by your colleagues at work? They didn’t like you. They tried to get rid of you. Has a sibling or maybe you yourself, have you ever caused trouble in the hopes that you would get out of it? I was watching these videos of a best man’s speech and everything, but there was one particular video that was different where the younger brother was making a speech and it wasn’t just a speech of just how great his brother was and he just got married. It turned into a little bit of a confession because in the middle of a speech he says, I’ve now taken this time to be able to share an incident that may or may not have taken place 20 years ago. He goes on to say, he and his brothers, his brothers went to go play paintball and he wanted to go. But his brother said, no, you’re too young, you’re too small. And so he felt left out. His brothers and cousins go off and take off and play paintball. Meanwhile, what did he find? He found some little paintballs and he took those paintballs. And if I’m not mistaken, he threw it along the neighbor’s wall. And when his brother and cousins came back, guess what happens? Who did they assume did this horrible thing to the neighbor and had to wash it off? His brothers and his cousins. And so 20 years later, you can see all of a sudden, as soon as he’s starting to explain this, the brothers and the cousins, the cameras were all on their faces and their eyeballs went from small eyeballs to big. eyeballs and they realized for so long he did not. We took that punishment for him and all he had to do at that point was get to go watch TV. He set him up, but what should he have done? He should have told him the truth. And yet those brothers and those cousins had to hear it from the parents. I had been falsely accused.

And the problem too here is that Eliphaz arrogance. Because he says in verse 27, we have examined this and this is true. Did Eliphaz know exactly what was going on? No, he had no idea that there was a bigger battle, this great controversy, this conflict that’s taking place. And his own arrogance is undermining his arguments. It’s one thing if he had a great relationship and he saw the mistakes, quote, mistakes that Job was doing and he could explain. Because if you truly love somebody, are you not gonna tell them the truth? And yet, Eliphaz is only assuming. And so, is it possible we could be so sure that we have a word from God, because he believes that what he’s saying is coming from God, and then we go and share, it could be the complete wrong answer? If you ever had a professor who thought they knew the answer, there was a time where I was sitting in one class, and this professor just was impatient. And so one of my co-students was starting to ask a question, and he immediately assumed what he thought the student was asking. And he goes on for like a five to seven minute rant, very passionate. And after he’s done, it’s literally quiet. He’s waiting for a response for the student. And the student says, well, that’s what I wanted to start with. But what I really want to ask is, and the professor was like, ah, and he shakes that off as if nothing happened. That was a very key point in my life. Always wait until somebody is finished either asking a question or making a statement. Amen.

Now, Let’s jump to Job chapter 6, Job chapter 6:24, Job 6:24, and we’ll read the last six verses of chapter 6. And here Job responds, okay. And he says, teach me and I will be quiet. Show me where I have been wrong. Can you feel the exasperation in his voice? How painful are honest words and sometimes yes, truth can hurt. But what do your arguments prove? Do you mean to correct what I say and treat my desperate words as wind? Is wind important? Can you grab it? Yeah, it just goes through you. Can do a lot of damage too. And here’s where he really hits him. You would even cast lots for the fatherless and barter away your friends. Ooh, you would sell out kids and you would give your way your friends. Pretty harsh. But now, be so kind as to look at me. Would I lie to your face? Relent. Don’t be unjust. Reconsider for my integrity is at stake. Is there any wickedness on my lips? Can my mouth not discern malice?

I think back in 2000, I think it was 2000, the movie came out. Remember the Titans, it’s a football story, based on a true story actually, of a high school football team, the T.C. Williams High School football team back in 1971. And it took place in Alexandria, Virginia. And it was a school at the time that had been forced to integrate. You know what that means, right? And so Herman Boone was brought in as head coach to replace the longtime coach of that team, Bill Yost, and Boone being a black man, replacing a capable, very capable coach who was a white man, was met with what? Great resistance, right? And so throughout the film, however, this friendship, this friendship grows between Boone and Yost, and even the children then become friends, maybe not the best of friends, at least as is described in the movie. but they grow together as friends. And yet one day, while Joost’s daughter was visiting and hanging out at the Boone household, in the evening, someone drives by and takes a brick and throws it through the window. And of course, obviously, any father would be upset and scared. They were trying to scare Boone to go away. Well, the next day Boone shows up. to the school, there’s a press conference. And he tells the perpetrators, come find me, I’m ready for you is essentially what he’s saying. And later on, as I walked back to the building, Yost calls Boon out for his words. And essentially the conversation goes, he calls him out for having sinful pride. And it says, if you want to carry your sinful pride with you to your grave, That’s your business. When your sins endanger my little girl, it becomes mine. Which Boone responds with, my sins? You think my sins had something to do with this? What happened last night? I’m sorry about what happened to your daughter. I really am. But maybe you got a small taste of what my girls go through. Mm. Welcome to my life, Joost. It’s easy to judge a situation with not being able to be in those shoes.

If we continue on in Job 23, Job continues to defend himself, but he’s also asking, like, can I get a hearing? Help me to understand. Mother Teresa once said, if you judge, sorry… the other thing is so Eliphaz and Job falsely assume they know the answers without understanding the greater context of that. There’s this battle between good and evil. Okay, between the accuser. And who? God. And this is a question I think Bill asked last week, and I want to ask it again. Who is on trial? Is Job on trial? No, it is God. Because what is the accuser ultimately accusing of God? Are you fair? Are you just? Are you real?

And so, trying to wrap this up as we land the plane. Mother Teresa once said, if you judge people, you have no time to love them. One of the loving things that we could ever do, and Elifaz Zophar and Bildad did this. One of the most loving things you could ever do is for someone is just to listen to them. Did they listen to him? Did they sit with him? Now, their intentions may not have been, or their ideas may not have been the best because they went there, they lovingly went to go and rebuke him and correct him. But at least at the very least, they went and showed up. I’ll give them that. And they listened to him. Now, unfortunately though, they miss the first part. If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

Recently, I was watching a debate, some of you may have seen it, and I was blown away by something that one of the participants said. And the individual said… Help me to understand because I don’t. And I believe he was sincere when he said this. But when was the last time somebody said to you, help me because I don’t understand? That’s going out on a limb to say, look, I don’t understand, but I truly want to. Imagine if your boss, your teacher, your friend, your parent, if your spouse said that, how would your relationship grow? How would your relationship improve? But to do so, you have to be what? You have to be sincere. Don’t say because I’m just trying to get out of this argument. I’m trying to win it in the nicest way possible, right? I’m trying to appear sincere. But you know what? People can pick up on that. Amen. You know when people are trying to fool you and not being when you’re not being sincere. Help me to understand. How can we then deal with how do we go forward? You know, one of the things that I have learned as well. When dealing with people who may be have an issue, don’t just tell them straight up that they’re doing something wrong.

I learned a lesson very long time ago my father got from, I think it was Dale Carnegie. You ever heard of the compliment sandwich? I think I’ve shared this with you before. When you know that somebody has an issue and you need to share something with them, take the indirect approach. Don’t ever just say, here’s where you’re wrong and this is what you need to do. Give them a compliment of something that they’re doing well. And maybe don’t even directly tell them this is how you’re doing it wrong, but ask them a question. Ask them good questions. So what do you think about this project? How do you think we’re doing well? And then start to ask questions because at that point, as you start to ask questions, it forces them to what? It forces them to think. But say something nice up front, ask the hard good questions, and then leave with them a compliment. Saying, not necessarily that you’re doing a great job, but I appreciate your tenacity. I appreciate your willingness to want to stay over and make sure this gets done. I appreciate the fact that you’re working hard. How can we grow better? And one of the things that I’ve also learned over the years, especially as a leader, I have to ask myself, when something goes wrong, I have to ask myself, okay, where did I go wrong in this process? Meaning where did I, where did I not explain how things should be done or the expectations or the follow through? Because before I want to blame somebody, I need to ask myself, is there anything that I have done that I could have done better to ensure that this project, that this, this event, uh, whatever it may be could have gone better?

Friends, we all have opportunities to grow. And I’m sure, you know, Job, as great as a man as he was, was he perfect? No, because he’s not God. And in a sense too, Job is almost like similar, it could be, how would you say this? He’s not Jesus, but yet, did Job experience horrible treatment that he did not deserve? Did Jesus ever receive horrible treatment that he didn’t deserve? He died on a cross. And yet he was guiltless.

So reflection this week, when did you misunderstand someone’s words or actions and judge them for it? Okay. When did you misunderstand someone’s words or actions and judge them for it? And to follow up, what should we do with this? I want you to pray for discernment and courage. to apologize where necessary when you have been wrong. And I hope and pray that as you do so, either in the past or when something happens, because do we misunderstand people? Absolutely. I’m sure there’s gonna be a lot of misunderstanding at some point in the near future. Pray for discernment and seek forgiveness. And where someone has sought forgiveness, grant forgiveness.

Let’s pray. Father in heaven, thank you, Lord, for you are good. And your mercy endures forever, Lord. So often, Lord, it’s easy for us to judge other people’s situations. May we have grace and empathy. May we ask questions before we exact judgment. Before? God, let’s not even judge. Let’s just be understanding and help us to grow together as a community as we continue to journey through job Lord help us to take these lessons to not only study them but also apply it to our lives and practice what we believe. Help us to be the faithful people that you’ve called in Jesus name. Amen.

Grace and peace everyone.